Dancing at the Pity Party

Starred review from February 24, 2020
After the author’s mother dies of uterine cancer when her oldest daughter is 19, Feder (Unladylike for adults) finds herself longing for something “that cradles my grief without smothering it.” Emphasizing the awkward and silly moments surrounding death, she has created the book she wanted to read. Her mom “wasn’t some sad sack in a sickbed waiting to die (even when she WAS a sad sack in a sickbed waiting to die),” nor was she a saint, and Feder brings her meaningfully to life. In one of many sweetly evocative scenes, she recalls the intimate surprise of knowing immediately which font her creative mother would have wanted on her own funeral pamphlets. Feder’s simple art features light pink backgrounds, a diverse cast of supporting characters, and details that make the story feel real (covered mirrors during the shivah, for example). The so-called pity party is illustrated in charming family scenes and flights of fancy such as “the app I wish existed: Dead Mom” (“Look up any movie to find out if the mom dies in it!”). Until that app exists, this book offers a wealth of perspective about coping with grief. Ages 12–up. Agent: Monica Odom, Odom Media Management.